But there's the other side. The stuff I won't miss.
It's hard to describe, especially since I'm aware Evan might read this someday!
I'll start here.
Imagine the feeling of staring at your sweet sleeping child. There is NOTHING so cute. It tugs at your heart-strings and helps you fully realize how amazingly lucky you are that this human exists in your life. It's pretty amazing.
Well, everything has an opposite, right?
The opposite is at 3a.m. when that child is screaming and flailing. They are screaming and flailing because they are tired, yet they will not go to sleep. You have to change their sheets because they are soaked in urine, as well as their comforter, favorite blanket, pjs, cloth diaper that was double stuffed AND the dang plastic pants that you put over the cloth diaper to prevent all of this from happening.
(I thought I had this wet at night problem nailed last night. I was SURE we were going to get a good night's sleep. I DO NOT LEARN.)
I just felt put out. I just wanted to be asleep. I felt REALLY GUILTY for feeling that way! I wish that I had walked in there and said sweet words and joyfully cleaned everything up and then snuggled with him the rest of the night. But I trudged in there, gave him half a hug since I didn't want to have to change my clothes and said, "It's ok baby." and changed his diaper and pjs as fast as I could since he was shivering. Then I left him standing there whining while I changed the sheets actually wondering if he could just sleep in a different part of the bed...it is a queen after all! Then I got him tucked back in and he asked for a story and a snuggle. I wish I had said yes. I told him no way, it's time to be asleep.
I reassure myself saying a bad mom would not have gotten up, would have left him in there to fall back asleep all wet after he cried himself to exhaustion.
But that's not really reassuring, because I know I'm not a monster.
I'm just kind of a jerk in the middle of the night.
But I don't want to be a jerk to my 3 year-old. I don't want him to feel bad for having a bladder the size of Lake Victoria. (Seriously, I don't think I could pee as much as this child...I really want to measure it someday.) I don't want him to be afraid to call for me in the night if he needs something.
So I'm going to start going to bed a little earlier. And Evan only gets liquids from 7a.m. to 10a.m. I'm kidding about the 2nd part.
